Three Little Words
by Brewing Glory
Summary: To think, it all started with those three little words with the power to humiliate all men everywhere: "Hold my purse." Dramione.
1. Chapter 1: Hold My Purse

**Author's Note: So, I decided I'd try my hand at writing a Dramione fic. I've never written anything with canon characters paired together, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Please review because I'd really like to know if the characters are OOC and whatnot. I might take this down if no one reads it, and the only way I can really be sure if you read it is if you review. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything related to Harry Potter, I would be the happiest teenager on Earth. As it happens, I happen to only be moderately happy with my life. Oh well.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One:<strong>

**Hold My Purse**

The once bright and happy atmosphere of the bustling Diagon Alley seemed to drop a significant amount as a large killing intent was felt by all those nearby. Familiars and owners alike shivered as the dark aura approached, bewildered expressions set on their faces.

"That right prat! How dare he even- ugh… All those years…" a young brunette murmured angrily as she stomped passed the crowd that scattered to give her room, having enough sense of self-preservation to know that it wouldn't be smart to bother the woman who looked like she would kill the next person to grab her attention.

The woman had a small handbag in her left hand and held a piece of paper in her right hand, crumpling it with her death grip. The bystanders watching her wondered how the poor paper could still keep intact under that much abuse.

She brushed her curly brown hair out of her face, her happiness that it had finally straightened out a bit was now only a fleeting thought.

"Arrogant arse… That poof! And the way he did it!" She continued her incoherent rant under her breath, her rather colorful vocabulary could put even the most experienced sailors to shame.

So lost in thought, she didn't notice the one person brave (or stupid) enough to not move out of her way until she bumped into him.

Hard.

"Ow…" she groaned, hand on her hip where she was sure a bruise would soon form.

She always did bruise easy.

Her backside hurt from her collision with the ground, her head pounding from dizziness and stress. She let out a long stream of profanities, still sitting on the ground.

Today was just not her day.

"Bloody hell! First that arse, and now this! I swear, Merlin bloody hates me today! I don't understand why! I haven't done one bad thing in my life that didn't ultimately lead to the greater good! You would think helping save the bloody world as much times as I have would warrant some happiness in my life, but no! Not even the smallest amount! The fuc-"

"Granger?" a startled voice interrupted her.

"What!" Hermione snapped, brown orbs meeting grey in a flash. The blonde-haired man before her seemed familiar, but it wasn't until he spoke with an oh-so-easily recognizable smirk that she was able to put a name to the face.

"So, Gryffindor's know-it-all Princess has finally taken those goody-two-shoes of hers off, after all. Although, I must say, I never would have imagined you'd have such a sailor's mouth, Granger."

"Malfoy?"

"Aw. You've been thinking about me?"

"No. But it _is _rather hard to forget the insufferable git that made seven whole years of my life a living hel,." she spat, flinching at the phrase "insufferable git", instantly reminded of a certain _someone. _A certain arse with red hair and an uncanny ability to get dirt on his nose.

"You wound me," Draco said in mock hurt, placing a hand over his heart dramatically before holding it out as if to help her.

She eyed the hand in clear disdain saying, "Is there a reason you are showing me your hand, Ferret?"

"Well, Granger, it is only common courtesy to help a person off the ground after they have so _eloquently_ fallen on their rear-end," he replied arrogantly, using heavy sarcasm as he stuck his nose in the air. Hermione scowled, ignoring his hand and standing on her own.

"No thank you, Malfoy. I have no idea where that hand has been." she responded, tightlipped. "But it's lovely to know you care about my well-being so much. Especially about my rear-end."

Not waiting for his reply, she spun on her heel to turn away from him, going back to imagining painful ways to murder (or at least fatally injure) a certain Weasely. Not that she would actually go through with any of her schemes- revenge was petty and not worth the effort.

However, it was fun to entertain the thought.

She hadn't noticed until he spoke up that the blonde annoyance was walking beside her at a steady pace, a decent amount of space between them.

"You know, the dark aura you're emitting and the homicidal facial expression you have there is scaring little children," he stated amusedly.

"Why the hell are you following me, Malfoy? Don't you have other lives to ruin? I would've thought you'd rather dig your eyes out with a spork and jump off the Golden Gate Bridge thatn be seen with a _mudblood,_" she said harshly.

"Two things, Granger. One, no one really cares about blood status after your little boyfriend, Scarhead, defeated Voldemort. Most of the sensible Purebloods learned that it was a lot less painful to forget all of that. Two, I was bored and you just happened to be here."

"Technically, that was three things."

"Still a know-it-all, I see."

"Anyone with a brain would have noticed that, Malfoy."

"But only a know-it-all would have pointed it out, Granger."

"Whatever, Malfoy." she snapped. The git hadn't changed at all.

"Nice comeback, Granger." he retorted sarcastically.

"Shut up, oh wonderful bouncing Ferret." she said, feeling smug when his smirk dropped off his face and he scowled.

"I don't want to. Now, where are we going?"

"Well, _I'm _stocking up on some potion supplies that I may need in the future. I have no idea what _you _plan on doing, however."

"In case you haven't noticed yet, I will be doing whatever you are doing. Like I said, I'm rather bored right now and you are the only source of entertainment I have. You should be honored."

"Oh yes, Malfoy. It's truly a dream come true."

"You've dreamt about this, Granger? I always knew you wanted m-"

"Shut up, Ferret!"

"I thought we went over this? I don't want to. So , what are you _really _going to do?"

"What? I already _told_ you what I'm doing!"

"C'mon, Granger. Don't you think I know when I'm being lied to? So tell me what you're doing already." Draco insisted.

"Fine. I need to get my dress robes for Harry and Ginny's wedding. Ginny already picked it out, I just need to get it the right size." she answered finally, sighing in resignation.

"Potter and Weaselette? Getting married? I mean, we all knew it was coming, but why hasn't there been any mention in the Prophet? I would've thought that that Skeeter woman would be digging her claws into that story in a heartbeat." he commented, thinking of all the stories out there about him because of that woman.

"Exactly. We've kept the news quiet to avoid the press and any unwanted wedding crashers." Hermione replied.

In that moment, Hermione realized that Malfoy had actually managed to keep her mind off that bastard Ron. Of course, she'd never admit that she didn't really mind Malfoy's company. Nor did she plan on thanking him for the distraction.

His ego was big enough.

"So, how does it feel to know your boyfriend is getting married to another woman?" he asked mockingly.

"I'm sure you already know how that feels. Didn't Blaise and Luna get married last month?" she shot back.

Draco resisted the _very strong _urge to pull out his wand at her, and instead replied with, "So you are not denying that Potter is your boyfriend?"

"Malfoy, for the last time, Harry and I have never been together. He's like a brother to me. Dating him would be borderline incest," she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I noticed how you didn't deny _Blaise _being _your _boyfriend."

"I thought it was obvious that we didn't date! I'm not some poof!"

"Defensive, are we?"

"I'm not defensive!"

"Whatever. We're here anyway," she said, stopping at a nice looking store away from the rest of Diagon Alley.

The store was nicely designed, the windows placed so that you could see the better dress robes clearly. The walls inside were a nice shade of periwinkle with silver swirls decorating them. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, lighting up the place. All in all, it was in better shape than most places in Diagon Alley.

"Where is here, exactly?" Draco asked, eyeing the unfamiliar store. He could have sworn it wasn't here before.

"_Madam Swan's Dress Robes. _Honestly Malfoy, I hadn't realized you were unable to read." Hermione said sarcastically.

"I _can _read. I just meant that this place is unfamiliar to me."

"So all other female dress robe stores are familiar to you? You shouldn't feel embarrassed, Malfoy. It's okay to be homose-"

"What I meant by that was that I know almost all the stores here, and their owners. I never knew there was even a store here," he interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest of her teasing.

"Oh, yes, it is quite new. It opened only two weeks ago. It's not very popular because of its location, though. The only reason Ginny and I found it was because while we were searching for wedding supplies, Ginny's hat flew off and we went chasing after it."

"…You chased after it? You _do _know that you are a witch, right?"

"Well the thought slipped our minds. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my dress," Hermione said, walking into the store, intending on closing the door on his face, only for him to casually walk in behind her. She sighed.

Of course. She should've known it wouldn't be that easy.

"Ah! Hermione dear! Come in, come in!" a woman exclaimed from behind the desk with the register.

She looked to be in her early thirties, with straight black hair that reached her lower back, and large sky-blue eyes. She wore rather expensive looking dress robes and uncomfortable looking high heels.

"Hello, Madam Swan. Nice to see you. I'm here to make sure the dress that Ginny picked out, fits."

"Oh, yes of course," she said, then eyed Draco. "Is this your boyfriend?"

Hermione made a face of disgust, obviously not liking the assumption. "Ew. No. This is _Malfoy_. I'm not that desperate."

"Could've fooled me…" Draco muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Granger. Nothing."

"Come on, dear. I have your dress here in the back." Madam Swan interjected, afraid they might pull their wands out to duel if they continued on with their argument.

"Yes, of course, Madam Swan. Malfoy," Hermione turned to Draco after flashing Madam Swan an appreciative smile, "hold my purse."

Draco looked at her for a few seconds as if she had just sprouted two heads- one of which looked like Dumbledore. She held out her small handbag after stuffing a piece of paper in it roughly. She looked at him expectantly as he just stared at her bag blankly.

"No."

"Oh, come on Malfoy! You're the one that insisted on following me today! The least you can do is hold the bloody thing while I change! There is no need for you to be such a nuisance."

"Granger, there is no way on this Earth you will make me hold a bloody purse for you. I am a man, and I do have a reputation to uphold. So, no, I won't hold your purse."

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><p>"I can't believe I'm holding her purse," Draco groaned again, leaning against the window of <em>Madam Swan's Dress Robes<em>, hiding his face whenever someone were to walk by. Though there weren't many people going through this particular area, there were still a few, and he didn't want to risk anything.

Loud laughter reached his ears, shocking him and causing him to drop the bag onto the floor, spilling its contents. Grumbling about women and their need to stash so many things into one bag, he knelt down and began gathering the fallen items. After getting everything else back in, he hesitated when he reached the crumpled up piece of paper. He recognized it as the paper Hermione shoved into her bag- the same one she had in her hand when he bumped into her. It looked to be a letter. Curious, he smoothed out the letter, eyes scanning over the words, his eyebrows raising at the end.

"Interesting…" Draco murmured, rereading it to make sure he understood it.

Hermione exited the store then, a lavender colored shopping bag hanging on her arm with black tissue paper sticking out. The minute she realized just _what _Draco was reading, she snatched the letter out of his hand and grabbed her purse.

"How dare you look into my personal belongings, Malfoy! I knew you were prat, but I thought you at least respected one's privacy. I see I thought too highly of you, Ferret!" she spat, glaring harshly at him.

"Granger, you _are _the one that made me hold it. Besides, it fell out of your bag, I picked it up, and then I got curious. You know, curiosity _is _only a part of human nature," he responded uncaringly.

"Well, most _humans _have enough of a conscience to not go snooping through a woman's things."

"It's not _that _bad, Granger. So Weasley broke up with you- why does it matter? You were out of his league, anyway. Still are, in fact. Well, if you ignore the nagging and bookworm-like habits, then yeah, you are still out of his league. You could always get revenge, you know." He shrugged, still rather uninterested in the subject.

"No, I don't want revenge." she said softly, her eyes downcast. "Revenge is petty. I don't need it. And… he's not worth the effort. Really, I'm not even mad about being dumped."

"Then why were you so angry about it?" Draco asked, genuinely curious.

"It's just… he broke up with me in a letter." Saying that aloud seemed to make something in her snap as she began another rant, "A bloody letter! He didn't have the guts to say it to my face! And even worse, we were supposed to be going to Ginny and Harry's wedding together, and then he goes and pulls something like this! Insensitive, egotistical, bloody-"

"Perhaps you need to take your mind off of this, Granger," Draco interrupted quickly, getting a little scared of her sudden mood change. He almost felt sorry for the Weasel, knowing he would soon feel the wrath of the woman standing in front of him. Almost.

"And what do you suppose I do?"

"Well…"

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><p>"'It's not me, it's you'? That man has no idea how to break up with a woman, I swear! I'm lucky I was able to get out of that one when I had the chance!" Hermione slurred, taking a swig of the Firewhiskey in her hand. In the back of her mind, a small (very, very small) part of her- the logical part- was telling her how unethical this all was, but she immediately repressed it. She needed to let it all out of her chest, even if it was with the help of Malfoy and numerous shots of Firewhiskey.<p>

"Hey, what about, 'Now that I've gone up the ladder of success, I just can't settle down with one girl. Especially when all my fans out there would be brokenhearted if I were no longer available. If you think about it, I'm doing everyone a favour.' Ha! The git!"

"Doing everyone a favour? He really does need a reality check!"

"Come on, Granger. We should probably get going…" he stood up shakily, a bit dizzy from all the drinks.

Draco helped Hermione stand as well, stumbling out of the Leaky Cauldron to apparate the both of them home. However, they were unaware of the mischievous (and slightly shocked) gaze that followed them, pen in hand.

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><p><strong>AN: Yes, rather short, I know, but I have a lot of things going on. You know, other stories, homework, school, community service, etc. Fun-tastic, I know. So, let me know if anyone is OOC. I'm sorry, if they are, it wasn't on purpose. I swear.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Prince and the Pauper

**Author's Note: Chapter Two of Three Little Words is now up! Thank you to those who reviewed and added this to their favorites/alerts list. It makes me feel loved. So, as I said in the last chapter, please tell me if you feel that anyone is OOC or if you have any suggestions for the story. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: <strong>

**Prince and the Pauper**

Hermione awoke to a bright ray of light beaming at her through her closed eyelids, groaning as she stretched in an attempt to get the kinks out of her back. Her eyes fluttered open, widening as her mind slowly registered her surroundings.

'_Where am I?' _she thought, racking her brain for the events of the previous night, only succeeding in worsening her already killer headache.

She was currently on the floor, her jacket laid on her like a blanket. There was a cushion under her body- judging by the matching sheets on the bed next to her, she had probably fallen asleep on said bed but rolled off in her sleep. The bed, she noticed, was a large four-poster bed with elegant green silk sheets. The room was also large, with a medium sized bookshelf off to the side- it was filled with enough books that, had the situation been different, she may have attacked the books right then and there in hopes of gaining some knew knowledge. Beside the bed was a large work desk with papers cluttering its surface.

'_Oh Merlin, no! I hope I didn't do something I'll probably regret…'_

Leaving the room, she noticed she was in a very large house- most likely some sort of mansion. Considering the fact that some of the portraits that hung in the halls she walked through, she could safely assume that she was in the home of a fellow wizard.

Surprisingly, Hermione was able to make it to what seemed like a living room without getting lost! She noticed a lump hidden completely under a quilt on a couch. Sucking in a breath, she slowly removed the quilt in order to see whose home she was in.

"Malfoy!" She screamed, shocking the sleeping man awake as most of the memories of the night before came flooding in. She remembered their encounter in Diagon Alley… the dress shopping… the bar-

Oh no! She- with Malfoy? No- It- How-

The thoughts she chose to speak aloud weren't much better. "You- me- I? WHAT? It- impossible! N-no! HOW-"

"Relax, Granger," Came the familiar lazy drawl of her ex-schoolmate. "Get your mind out of the gutter. We didn't do anything. You passed out after a few drinks and, since I don't exactly know where you live, I brought you here," he explained, standing up and attempting to smooth out his shirt.

"How do I know you're not lying? I woke up on your bed for Merlin's sake!"

"And I woke up on the couch. I mean, Granger, I know I'm good, but even _I'm _not _that _good."

"Then why-"

"I laid you on my bed because, like the courteous person I am, I thought it rude to leave you on the couch. I am not _completely _heartless, you know." He rolled his eyes when she looked at him incredulously.

"So we didn't do anything?" She asked uncertainly and he snorted.

"Sorry Granger, but I don't think I'd ever sleep with you no matter how much I had to drink. Which, by the way, wasn't much- I wouldn't have been able to apparate us here properly if I had drunk more than three shots of Firewhiskey. And do you really think that if we had… done the deed, we would have woken up fully clothed, in opposite sides of the manor? Besides, if we had done anything, there's no way you'd be able to walk properly so soon afterwards," he stated, wiggling his brows suggestively and smirking at the disgust that showed clearly on her face.

"Ew! Did you really have to say that, you perverted Ferret?" She screamed, shaking her head as if it would rid her mind of the nasty images that refused to leave. **(AN: I was so close to having her scream, "MY VIRGIN MIND!", but I figured that would have been too OOC for Hermione, no?)**

"I'm only being honest." He shrugged.

"Well thank you for the completely unwanted image, Malfoy. I am officially scarred for life," she spat, resisting the urge to vomit just yet.

Knowing him, he would probably force her to scrub the expensive looking carpet that she stood on down until it was spotless, then make her through it out believing it to already be tainted and whatnot, then probably annoy her to death about it or make her buy him a new one.

Spoiled arse.

"Oh, please. I'm sure the image wasn't completely unwanted. You probably had plenty of similar images going through that bushy-haired head of yours all through those years when we were younger-" He stopped as Hermione practically ran out of the room and to the bathroom with a hand clamped over her mouth. He paled when he heard the sound of gagging and the flush of the toilet, the stench just barely reaching him.

His eyebrow started to twitch, irritated that she thought him so repulsive to vomit at the mere thought of doing anything with him. It wasn't as if he was mad that she didn't want to associate _that _with him, Merlin knows that he didn't want anything to happen between them- she was still _Granger, _after all.

He honestly didn't see what it was about him that disgusted her so much.

He had been told many times by many women that he could be considered the "complete package" for any woman. He had looks, money, brains- what else could Granger want?

"Granger would be lucky if I ever even considered her…" he muttered, walking over to the window when tapping was heard.

'_Ah, the Daily Prophet. About time it came,' _he thought.

He casually opened the window, allowing the generic tawny post owl to fly swiftly into his home and land on his kitchen counter. Draco handed a piece of toast to the owl, untying the paper from it's leg.

'_I wonder what poor bastard ended up on the front page of this trash this time…'_

As the owl flew away, Draco poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice and settled himself on a chair of his kitchen table. Taking a sip, he unfolded the paper and glanced at the article before he had the chance to swallow.

Eyes widening in shock, he quickly scanned the article, choking on his pumpkin juice. The juice from his sudden spit take ended up covering a good portion of the table, and his kitchen floor.

"BLOODY HELL!" he screamed, reading the words before him more thoroughly.

**PUREBLOOD PRINCE FALLS FOR MUGGLEBORN PAUPER**

**~Rita Skeeter**

_The Wizard World's most eligible bachelor has finally gotten his heart stolen by the well-known muggleborn we all love to hate. These two were seen all over Diagon Alley together, getting quite cozy according to speculations made by eye-witnesses. _

_Who are these certain individuals, you ask? _

_Well, none other than the infamous Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy and resident heart-breaker Gryffindor Bookworm, Hermione Granger._

_Yes, the former school rivals are now already one of the most talked about couples of Wizarding London. While Mister Malfoy has not been in any long-term relationships as of late, Miss Granger seems to have just gotten out of her relationship with Ronald Weasley, Keeper for the Chudley Cannons. It seems that when Miss Granger goes out, she aims high. First it was her scandalous affair with our Saviour, Harry Potter, and Bulgarian Seeker, Viktor Krum. Now, however, she has moved from Weasley, to our beloved Mister Malfoy. _

_Miss Granger must have a thing for athletic men as Harry Potter had been quite the talented Seeker at the time of their relationship, and even Mister Malfoy is known to play on occasion when not working at his business making the best brooms money can buy. _

_Now, I am sure everyone is wondering how these two had come to be? Well, that is a mystery to us all, my dear readers. Sources say that Miss Granger has been living among the muggles for the past three years, while Mister Malfoy has only ever been to the Muggle World for business occasions. _

_Perhaps it was during one of these business trips that they had bumped into each other. Surely after Mister Weasley broke it off with Miss Granger, she went looking for something new to…_

Draco stopped, having enough of the roach-like woman's words.

How could they possibly think that him and Granger were together? Were they daft? And to think, they believe that _Granger _was the one to seduce _him?_ If anything, it would be the other way around!

Not that he would try to seduce Granger…

"What are you sputtering about, Malfoy? You look like you've just seen Voldemort's ghost," Hermione commented upon seeing the paler-than-usual Malfoy staring incredulously at the Prophet before he exploded.

Metaphorically, of course. Although, she wouldn't mind in the least if it were to happen literally as well.

"See, this is what happens when I try and do something nice for a change! And people wonder why I initially chose the dark side! Next thing I know, these daft fools will be speculating that the only reason I joined the light side in the first place is to stay with _you! _Oh Merlin, I hope nobody believes this load of-"

"Malfoy!" Hermione yelled, cutting him off mid-sentence. "What is going on?"

Wordlessly, Draco handed her the paper, leaning back into his chair and rubbing his temples, taking deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm himself. Hermione read quickly- she was a bookworm, after all- eyes narrowing with each passing second. Suddenly, she slammed the paper onto the table, glaring daggers at Malfoy.

"This is all _your _fault!" She accused, causing him to stand up to defend himself.

"My fault? How the bloody hell is this my fault?"

"If you hadn't decided to follow me around all day, none of this would have happened! The most Rita could have gotten after news of my breakup with Ron would probably be something about a secret affair being the cause- but at least she would not have had any evidence to support her theory! But, now, she has pictures and statement from witnesses who apparently think we are totally and completely in love! Blimey! You are about as bright as Ronald sometimes, you know that?"

"Do not compare me to that Weasel! At least _I _was only trying to be thoughtful for once! It's not as if I _knew _this would happen! And it's not _my _fault that Skeeter felt the need to write this rubbish about us!"

"Just what are you insinuating?"

"Well, you _are _the one that just _had _to make her your enemy back in Fourth Year!"

"Well what do you plan on doing about this? I will not just sit back as everyone assumes I'm with you!"

"Ha! As if I would date _you, _anyway! Muggleborn Pauper," he sneered at her.

"I am not a bloody pauper! I'll have you know, I am considered rather well off in the Muggle World. The only reason it seems otherwise here is because I find it unnecessary to convert all of my money into Wizard World money. I only convert things when needed- especially when I spend most of my time in the Muggle World."

"Sure, Granger. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"You annoying twit!"

"Well if you would stop being such a-" Draco was cut off from his insult as a flash went off, blinding both he and Hermione momentarily from the power of it.

"Ah… Their first lovers' spat. How much do you reckon Skeeter would pay for this picture, love?" Blaise Zabini asked, holding the camera tightly in his hands, smirking triumphantly at the two.

"I don't know. But, I am sure it will be worth that the picture of the nargles I tried to sell to her. And it was a really good picture, too," came the dreamy reply.

"Blaise, give me the camera," Draco demanded, holding his hand out.

"No, I don't think I will."

"Zabini, you don't really plan on selling that picture to that horrid woman, right? She has enough pictures of us I'm sure- no need to give her proof that I've been in his home and allow her further evidence of our supposed "relationship"."

"Well, Granger, since you asked so nicely," he said sarcastically, giving her the camera anyway.

"Thank you. Now, what do we owe this pleasure, Mr. and Mrs. Zabini," Hermione asked, smiling lightly despite the situation.

"Well we decided to come and congratulate you."

"Yes, it's not everyday two mortal enemies fall in love…"

"LOVE!" Hermione and Draco both protested loudly.

"What does _love _have _anything _to do with this _stupid _article!"

"Absolutely nothing happened between us!"

"Yeah, sure. Because that totally explains why Granger is currently in your house and you both have that just-had-sex look."

The two stammered, eyed themselves, then each other.

Blaise was right- they did have that just-had-sex look with their clothes all ruffled and messy and their hair sticking out in all directions. Hermione's shirt was even backwards.

"THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE!"

"We were drunk, of course I brought her here!" Draco said, glaring at his soon-to-be dead ex-best friend.

"You know, you aren't really helping your case, mate," Blaise stated, grinning mischievously.

"Oh, shut up Zabini! You know as well as we do that nothing happened!" Hermione snapped, losing her patience.

Blaise raised an eyebrow, smirking at the young brunette. Then, as if to prove his innocence, he held out his hands in front of him.

"Yeah, I know. You can't blame me for wanting to have a little fun," he replied, shrugging.

"Yes, we can, Rather easily, too. I blame you, Blaise. See?"

"You know what?" Hermione screamed in frustration. "I don't have time for this! I'm already almost late as it is!"

"Late for what, exactly?" Draco asked skeptically.

"Work," she answered simply before she was gone with a loud crack.

"...She has a job?" Draco asked no one in particular, receiving a shrug from the other two people in the kitchen anyway.

"Well, she had to have gotten by before..." Luna sang dreamily, skipping out of the kitchen and sat down gracefully on his couch.

"You mean you _don't _know what she does?" Draco questioned the dreamy blonde who merely shrugged in response.

"I believe she may work at a muggle school as a teacher."

"A teacher? Somehow I can't see that," Blaise commented, snorting in amusement.

"I can," Draco said, remembering his Hogwarts days- specifically Hermione's teacher's pet days. Smirking as a plan formulated in his head, he asked, "So, what school is this that she works at?"

Oh, this was going to be fun.

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><p><strong>AN: Tell me what you think! Please Review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Big Boobs Mountain Range

**Author's Note: Yes, it has been a while. I'm sorry, but I have just had so much homework to do lately, add that with all my community service, other stories, taking care of my sisters and stupid computer problems (and laziness, but that's beside the point), I just haven't had much time. I am also trying to come up with an idea for a local creative writing contest that I wanted to submit in. Anyway, at least I have the chapter now...? Whatever, take it or leave it! Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, this is not one of those fics where Draco and Hermione date in order to get revenge on someone. I mean, I love those fics, but I wanted to try something different. Oh, and one more thing! Let me know if anyone is OOC! I need to know these things! For any grammer mistakes or syntax errors, I apologize in advance. I don't have a beta and I tend miss some of the most obvious mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I once had a dream that I owned Harry Potter, and I woke up right before I died when an extremely obsessed fan tried to shoot me because I wasn't British. Kinda glad I don't own Harry Potter...**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three:<strong>

**Big Boobs Mountain Range**

Hermione dashed into her classroom just in time for the bell that signified the beginning of classes. Panting heavily, she plopped gracelessly onto her chair as the last couple of students in the hall rushed off into their classes. After a few seconds, Hermione became aware of the curious gazes her students cast her way and turned to them, eyebrow raised delicately.

"May I help you, class?" Hermione asked, a slightly sarcastic edge to her tone. Her students had the decency to look slightly sheepish and look away.

"Sorry, Ms. Granger. It's just that," one of her students, Tara Anderson, began, "you're never late. Most of us had begun to suspect that you lived here."

"No, I don't live here. Not since the cleaning staff began to complain about my taking too much space," Hermione commented good-naturedly. "Besides, I wasn't late."

"Well, you're never _this _close to being late."

"You're right, Nick," Hermione commented to the student who had just spoken, then raised an eyebrow once again. "Let's see if you can manage that again, shall we? Do you remember what we will be studying this next month?"

"…Er… I," stammered Nick, "… No?"

"I didn't think so. Now," Hermione sighed, the harsh pounding in her head reminding her of her hangover now that the strange 'Malfoy situation' was over, "We will be focusing on geography in the Americas for the next few weeks, seeing as how we finished most of Europe and Asia. Does anyone know anything about the Teton Mountain Range?"

Hermione should have known she could never have a peaceful day once Draco malfoy had managed to slither his way back into it.

Draco smirked as he strutted into the class Hermione was teaching. A few of the students noticed him but said nothing, while others were completely oblivious as they listened with rapt attention to their teacher. Hermione herself hadn't noticed, so Draco contented himself with leaning against the wall closest to the door, arms crossed over his chest as his smirk grew.

His smirk became even more smug as he noticed a few of the teenage girls in the class that had seen him walk in blush and giggle.

He still wasn't sure how Hermione resisted him. Like stated before, he was the complete package.

Draco raised an eyebrow at the word 'Teton', stating condescendingly, "Teton? Isn't that French for breasts? So, it's literally the 'Big Boobs Mountain Range'? They must have been both drunk _and _horny when they named them that." Draco chuckled when Hermione jumped and whirled to face him, an annoyed look on her face.

"Malfoy! What the bloody hell are you doing here! I am trying to teach a class here!" Hermione yelled, then paused in a confused silence. "How did you even get in here? They don't let just anyone in here, and if you had sneaked in here we would be on lock-down."

"Of course I didn't sneak in here. A Malfoy would never degrade themselves so as to sneak into a _school _of all things."

"What are you talking about? What about sixth year when-"

"That doesn't count."

"How does it not count? You did just what-"

"Let it go, Granger," Draco cut her off, intent on ending that particular conversation. "So this is your class, eh? I have to say, I never thought you would be teaching Geography. If anything, I thought you'd work at our old school if you really wanted to teach. I'm sure McGonagall would have loved to give you her old position. Or maybe work more with, what was it again," Draco pretended to think about it, "spew, right?"

"Not _spew_! S.P.E.W!" Hermione corrected angrily, mentally cursing Malfoy for bringing it up.

It was still a sore subject for the brunette.

"Oh, yes. Who could forget? Sometimes I miss those good old days," Draco said, laughing at the indignant look on her face. However, he felt uneasy when her expression went from put out, to superior.

"They were rather fun, weren't they _Ferret_?" Hermione asked smugly, challenging him to reciprocate.

"I should have seen that coming."

"Yes, you really should have. Now answer my question!" she demanded.

"Which one?"

"I don't care!"

"Well, to answer your second question," he pointed to his visitor's pass casually. "As for the first, you'll find out on your own soon enough."

"How did you get a visitor's pass? You have to actually have a reason for the school to give you one. I doubt being a bloody pain in my arse is a good enough excuse," Hermione mumbled that last part to herself, unwilling to let her class hear her use such language.

"Oh it wasn't as hard as one would think. And if anyone asks, your cousin Marigold, my girlfriend, is in the hospital and I needed some comfort." Draco gracefully took a seat on her chair behind her desk, resting his head in his hands.

Just as Hermione was going to respond, one of her students rose his hand, a look of uncertainty on his face.

"Yes, Riley?" Hermione coughed awkwardly, having forgotten about her students completely.

Stupid Malfoy.

"Um… Who is he?" Riley asked, pointing at Draco. The rest of the class also inclined their heads interestedly. They all wanted to know the answer to that question. He must have been someone close to their teacher, for they had never seen her so distracted from a lesson before. Usually, nothing could make her completely dismiss the class unless it was over.

Hermione blinked. Why would anyone want to know who Malfoy was? Of course, she didn't really blame them. After all, it wasn't everyday she engaged in a verbal argument in the middle of class.

"This is _Malfoy_," he voice was filled with distaste as she said this. "We used to go to school together," she said simply, hoping that would satisfy her curious students.

"Really? Are you guys dating? Oh my God, you guys make just the _cutest _couple!" exclaimed Claire Boudreaux, a girl sitting nearest the door. Squeals of excitement followed her statement, along with horrified and disgusted expressions from both Draco and Hermione.

"Why does everyone assume that we're dating?" they both demanded angrily.

Really, Draco's plan was not going…well, the way he planned! He had hoped he'd be able to embarrass Hermione in front of her class(es) and walk out the superior one, but those teenager girls with their romance obsession and seeing things that were not there were ruining it all!

"Because you look great together!"

"No we don't!"

"And you know each other so well."

"How would you know?"

"Well, for one, you two have been speaking in perfect unison this whole time."

"No we- Stop copying me!"

"You know Ms. Granger," spoke Tara, clearing her throat, "I have to say, I think I like him better than the last guy that came her. That Weasel wasn't the most polite person out there. He was actually kind of a pervert. You were out of his league."

Draco paused, looking at Tara for the longest time, before turning back to Hermione. "I would just like to point out," he began, "that without the slightest bit of influence on my part, your student just called Weasley, _Weasel_. _And_ she said the exact same thing I did _yesterday_. I believe the universe is trying to tell you something," He paused dramatically, then added, "I think it's about time you start listening."

"Shut up, Ferret."

* * *

><p>"How could you just ruin my class like that? You had no right!" Hermione seethed, ever so tempted to punch the stupid blonde in the face. He could have been seen! By Skeeter! True, Hermione doubted Skeeter would really be here around muggles, but one could never be too careful.<p>

"Oh calm down, Granger. It's not as if your students care," he drawled, infuriatingly calm.

It's like he's begging her to hit him.

"But I care! Do you know how embarrassing it was for me when they began speculating about our supposed 'relationship'?"

"Hey, it was pretty embarrassing for me, too. They thought _I_ was dating _you_."

"Well, if you hadn't had shown up, I might have been able to actually give them an assignment! Because of you, all I could do was give them a chapter to read since I wasn't able to teach them anything!"

"Think of it this way, Granger," Draco began, looking her straight in the eyes, "you're saving trees with the less homework you give them. You could even start a new organization for it. Maybe call it C.R.A.M.P. Corporation for Radically Altering the Misuse of the Planet."

"Oh stop being such an idiot, Malfoy! I have had my fill of underestimated and unappreciated groups for bettering society and I do not need any more," Hermione huffed angrily, almost pouting.

It was the end of the day, and Draco had stayed there the entire time throughout each of Hermione's classes, never once getting to perform his plan. Every single class had at some point mentioned that Hermione and Draco would make "the cutest couple ever", which sent both the adults and the teenagers to debate over the, according to both Draco and Hermione, "most absurd, mortifying, _ludicrous _idea that would signify the end of the world if it ever were to occur".

It wasn't a happy day for anyone, really.

"_Groups? _You mean you had more than just _spew_?" Draco asked incredulously.

Hermione blushed, choosing not to respond to that. In fact, she had started more than a few organizations over the six years after their graduation. Not that she would ever admit that. Especially not to the arrogant blonde _toerag_ with an ego the size of Asia. And Africa. _Together. _

No, especially not to him.

"Shut up, Ferret. Now, let's get out of here before any _more _ridiculous rumors start to accumulate," Hermione said, packing her things into her purse. Since all of her students were gone, she didn't need to wait or explain to anyone how she manage to stuff all of her papers and supplies into her tiny purse. "Here," she added, thrusting her purse at Draco.

"…What?" Draco eyed the purse with disdain, hoping to Merlin that Hermione wasn't trying to make him hold that _thing_ again. Especially now that they were in a more populated area.

"Since you felt the need to come all the way over here just to embarrass me, you get to embarrass yourself by carrying this for me through a crowded high school all the way to my car at the back of the parking lot. I guess it's a good thing I came in late today," Hermione said, smirking a smirk that Draco had to admit was impressive. When Draco made no move to grab the bag, she said haughtily, "Hold my purse."

"No way. There is absolutely no bloody way you are going to make me hold that thing again!"

* * *

><p>"How the bloody hell do you always get me to hold this thing?" Draco complained in disbelief from behind Hermione as the walked through the halls, barely ignoring the snickers that followed them at the sight of Draco holding the periwinkle handbag.<p>

"I have recently learned the art of persuasion in order to get what I want," Hermione said blankly, struggling to keep herself from laughing at Draco but not showing any indication of it. "It has come in handy quite a few times. I managed to talk myself out of a couple of speeding tickets a while ago, and I was able to get my car much, and I mean _much , _cheaper than it was supposed to be..."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're very Slytherin for a Gryffindork?"

"Yes, Harry and the Weasleys may have said that a few times." Hermione thought for a moment than added, "And Luna might have mentioned it a while ago."

Draco didn't know what to say to that. Who knew the Gryffindor Princess was almost as crafty and deceitful as most of the Slytherins he knew. Maybe even more so. They finished their walk to Hermione's car in silence, both feeling uncomfortable in each other's presence. When they reached their destination, they turned to each other simultaneously and spoke stiffly.

"Goodbye, Granger."

"Goodbye, Malfoy. I hope to never see you again."

"You know me so well, sometimes it's like you can read my mind, Granger," Draco teased, fully prepared to leave and never see her again. He would admit, the last twenty-four hours or so were not _completely _terrible, but it wasn't like the know-it-all made much of an impression that he would miss her. No matter how amusing it was to rile her up, he was totally fine with this being their last meeting.

Unbeknownst to him, Hermione was having the same thoughts. Sure, manipulating him and forgetting about Ron for even the shortest amounts of time helped her a bit, but she just could not take any more rumors and gossip spreading about her. She didn't really want to receive more hate mail.

With their (slightly awkward) goodbyes said, they went their separate ways. Draco turned to leave and, at the same time as Hermione, turned back. Hermione opened her window as Draco walked back toward her car and held out her bag.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I forgot I was holding it."

Hermione smirked, "Looks like the 'bloody thing' grew on you, huh? You know, it's not too late to come out of the clos-"

"Give it a rest, Granger. Sometimes it's like you only bring that up so that you can find out if you have a chance with me. If it makes you feel any better, I can assure you that I am straight," Draco commented, winking at her.

Hermione turned red in anger, snatching her purse from his hands. She huffed, closing her car window and sped off without another word. Draco smirked as he watched her leave, checked to make sure there were no nearby muggles, and vanished no the spot with a loud crack.

* * *

><p>Rita Skeeter glanced at the doors to the muggle school that Draco Malfoy had walked in a few hours ago, and groaned irritably. What was taking the man so long? She had been tailing him since she spotted him in muggle London where she was getting her usual cosmetics- even if the muggles had no magic, they worked <em>wonders <em>with blending colors together for the most interesting eye shadow- and followed him here to this ordinary secondary school. He walked in at around eight a.m. and had yet to exit.

Rita was beginning to get bored. And itchy. But who could blame her, she had been sitting in the bushes for who knows how long. She would have just cast a Anti-itch charm, but by the time she realized that she could, she just didn't feel like it. She also could have just left, but she had been waiting too long now to just give up!

Finally, as if answering her prayers, Rita noticed Draco leaving the school's doors, followed by… Hermione Granger.

"This will be great," Rita said, smirking, already taking as many pictures as she could. Her quill floated in the air beside her, poised to write whatever she said down as she observed the current Ultimate power-couple of the Wizard World. "Draco Malfoy, once one of the most renown blood-purists, paid a visit to Hermione Granger at work today. Apparently, not only is he willing to forget the fact that Granger is muggleborn, he seems to care enough about her to even allow himself to be surrounded by strange muggle adolescents. He's even holding her purse for her!

"Even if the two were to deny their relationship any time soon, it is quite obvious to this reporter that there is something deep between these two. Now, as the two stop at what is presumably Granger's… kar (Note: check on that later), they seem to be having a hard time saying their goodbyes. The two gaze into each other's eyes for another moment before turning away. I don't know about you, readers, but as a reporter I can honestly say that the scene I have just witnessed may have been one of the most romantic things I have ever seen.

"And oh! What's this? It looks like… Yes! They have both just looked back! Everyone with the most basic knowledge of body language should know that a backwards glance usually indicates interest or attraction. Yes, no matter what they try to say, there is clearly something going on between these two star-crossed lovers. They seem to be exchanging some last words… Oh my! I have to get a picture of this! Something that Draco has said has made Hermione blush! Hermione reached out to Draco- probably saying more goodbyes to each other- and drives off."

As Draco disappeared from sight, Rita stands excitedly, already mapping out her next article on the two love-birds.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Review and tell me what you think. And most importantly, I need to know whether people are in character so far. Rita may be, but I'm a bit iffy about her character anyway. I'm thinking Hermione is not as know-it-all or witty as she should be. Draco might be a little too happy... Or maybe that's just me. Review anyway!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Stuck

**Author's Note: Finally! I promised that I was going to update sooner, but I kind of lost track of time... Hehe? I found a book that I just got sort of obsessed with it. And I'm a slow reader so... Anyway, I'd really like to know what you think of my story so far. I know the characters are slightly out of character- okay, more than slightly- but I'm not perfect. Far from it, actually. **

**Disclaimer: For Merlin's sake, I don't own Harry Potter. I'm frickin' Asian, not English!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four:<strong>

**Stuck**

Draco Malfoy was confused. A bit weirded out, too. When he awoke that morning, the day after his last confrontation with Hermione, it had seemed like a normal day. He got out of bed unenthusiastically, took a nice warm shower, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, got dressed in some smart robes, and apparated to his company.

That's when things started to get weird.

As he was walking to the double doors of the building, two male employees of his walked out. Upon spotting him, they swerved in his direction and gave him an impressed "Congratulations!", then moved on after clapping him on the back. The second he was in the building, he noticed immediately the change in atmosphere. People pointed at him not-so-subtly, whispering in hushed voices undoubtedly about him. Some guys even wolf-whistled when he came into sight. Plus, he was pretty sure he heard a yell of, "Malfoy, you lucky bastard!"

He could be wrong, though.

When he got to his office, he greeted his secretary, Sarah, with a curt nod of acknowledgement. Instead of getting the usual shy smile in return, the woman let out a small sob and ran away.

Yes, Draco was very confused indeed.

Now, as he sat alone in his office, he found himself wondering just what the _hell _was going on. What was wrong with everyone today? What had he done to get random congratulations? Why was he a lucky bastard (besides obvious reasons)? And why did his secretary just run away from him like that?

Not that it was the first time she had ever run away from him. However, it was the first time she had done so with tears running down her face. Usually she just has that nervous expression on her beet-red face.

He had that effect on women.

_Except Granger, _his mind so helpfully supplied.

'Not now!' he scolded, mentally slapping himself. His eyebrows furrowed, when he was interrupted by a surprise visit from his best mate.

"Hey, Drake," Blaise said in mock-urgency, to which Draco diligently ignored.

"Hey, Drake," he tried again, silence as his only answer.

"Drake! Drake!"

"What the bloody hell do you _want_, Zabini?" Draco snapped.

"Did you read the Daily Prophet this morning?"

"No. I was in a hurry this morning. Why? Did they write something that _isn't_ a bunch of gossip trash and is actually relevant to me?"

"Why don't you read it and find out?" Blaise suggested with a smirk, whipping out a copy of the gossip rag, causing Draco to raise a suspicious eyebrow.

That Zabini was up to something.

Draco read the Prophet silently, expecting some half-arsed crap about Saint Potter, only to find that that wasn't what that Skeeter woman was up to after all. "Is that bloody woman everywhere!"

"Ah, so it _did_ happen. You know, I don't understand why you're so worked up about this. Luna and I agreed that you two make just the _loveliest_ couple," Blaise flashed a self-satisfied smirk.

"Shut up, Blaise! You were _there_ when I decided to go to Granger's workplace to _piss_ _her_ _off_, not make a _move_! Must you always be so damn annoying?"

"It's part of my job description," he replied as if it were obvious. "But, honestly, you didn't _have_ to go there. You could have easily just forgotten the other day even happened. Better yet, you could have ignored her completely that day. Instead, you followed her. I think you _do_ like her."

"You know I've been stressed out lately, Blaise," Draco said with a sigh, "What with Astoria Greengrass practically stalking me, the company losing one of its biggest associates, and the fact that I'm expected at that big 'important' social gathering where I'll have to kiss up to those fat, pompous, arrogant company owners!"

"So you'll have to kiss up to a bunch of you's?"

"No, that's where you are wrong, Zabini. I have the body of a Greek God, okay? Those apes have the body of Mount Olympus."

"Do you realize you just said that your body lives on top of those apes'?"

"I did not say that."

"But you implied it."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Fine, Draco, keep lying to yourself. Besides, we have gotten way off topic. We were talking about your sudden interest in Granger."

"Like I said, I was stressed. I needed a distraction from it all, and she just so happened to be there at the most opportune time. I'm nearly a hundred percent sure that that's the only reason Granger allowed herself to be in my presence too. We were two people who needed some time away from reality, choosing to do so together- solidifying the idea that none of it was real. Me and Granger spending a day together is the furthest thing from real you can possibly get- effectively saving us from each of our own personal hells we call our lives," Draco explained.

"You know… that was actually kind of deep," Blaise commented through his shock. Who could blame him, though? Draco Malfoy, being deep, not complimenting himself for once?

Unheard of.

"I have my moments. Granted, they're probably once every blue moon, but they _do_ happen. You know, we really should stop getting off topic so much."

"Oh, yeah, you're right," Blaise conceded, "…Er… What were we talking about?"

"I believe it had something to do with my nonexistent relationship with Hermione Know-It-All Granger that your miniscule little deranged brain seems to have convinced itself is true. Well, your mind and the rest of the idiotic Wizarding World's minds. Seriously, what are you people _on_?"

"'What are we on?' What does that mean?"

"I'm actually not completely sure… I heard a couple of muggles use it during my trips through the Muggle World. From what I gathered, it's an expression used when someone suggests something utterly insane. I could be wrong, though. I just felt that it would be an appropriate thing to say to my situation. Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you what I plan on doing to the Prophet for these ridiculous articles they keep on writing about me and Granger."

"Oh, and what is that?" Blaise raised an eyebrow, honestly curious as to what Draco could have thought of. He didn't think Draco would be stupid enough to-

"I'm going to sue them," he answered simply, Blaise's eyes bugging out.

"Sue them? Are you an idiot! That won't help you at all!"

"Sure it will!" Draco exclaimed, wondering what had suddenly gotten into his friend. "I sue them blind, get them to stop writing anything at all about me, embarrass them completely, and get the sweet pleasure of laughing in their faces. Where exactly does this _not_ benefit me?"

"Uh, the part where you make people believe the rumors even more?" Blaise said slowly, as if he were talking to an idiot. Thinking about it, he might as well be.

"What are you talking about, Zabini?" Now Draco was even more confused than earlier. He hated all this confusion. Just when he thought he was beginning to understand just what the hell was going on in the world, he gets even more lost.

"Mate, if you suddenly sue the Prophet after they wrote about you and Granger when you never attempted the same when they had the same articles about you and Greengrass, people are going to think you're being defensive. You're only giving people more proof that what they are reading is true." Blaise watched in satisfaction as Draco slowly processed his words, horror dawning on his face as he realized the truth behind them.

Draco paled dramatically, "Well what am I supposed to do?"

"Obviously, suing is out of the question. So is publicly denying it- that would have the same effect as suing… I suppose you could pay the Prophet off, but that may arise some suspicion. Buying out the Prophet would only give other newspapers the chance to write about you with their biggest competitor out of the way…" Blaise furrowed his eyebrows in frustration, "I guess the only thing you _can_ do is wait it out and hope for the best."

"Wait it out and hope for the best?" Draco asked incredulously, "That's all you can possibly think of?"

"Well, it's the safest possible route that _hopefully_ won't backfire on you," Blaise replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "You might want to stay away from Granger without making it seem like you're avoiding her. If you start acting weirder than usual, they might think you ended your relationship because everyone found out. Just go on like normal and hope you never encounter Granger again."

"We had already planned for that, but it's nice to know that you agree. So, Step One: Stay away from Hermione Granger."

* * *

><p>A few days after Hermione and Draco had separated for good, Hermione found herself throwing away yet another copy of the Daily Prophet. She hadn't even spared it a glance this time. She knew it was probably about her and the Ferret, anyway- in other words, the Wizarding World's most talked about "couple" as of now. Why anyone would want to read this trash to know about the happenings of her and Malfoy's "relationship" was beyond her, but maybe that was just because she was more <em>sane<em> than the rest of the world.

But that's just a guess.

Thought it did make sense. After all, the last article was about how she and Malfoy must have been secretly meeting since after the first one, claiming that since they wouldn't deny the relationship, they were trying to hide it. They had accounts from multiple witnesses- most of them probably connected to Malfoy seeing as how she cut most of her ties there- that stated how they weren't acting any different from before the discovery of their relationship, so it wasn't likely that they had broken up. It was a plausible theory, she supposed, if the thought of her dating Malfoy didn't make her want to throw up what was left of her meals from the past two weeks.

Here comes the urge again- she really needed to stop thinking about this.

Hermione ran her fingers gently through her TAMED hair (oh how she loved saying that), loving how they just slid through it easily. That makeover Ginny had forced her into was definitely worth it.

Even if she hadn't thought so at first.

It was amazing, though. She had only agreed to have that makeover as long as they went to a muggle salon, since there would always be people whispering behind her back in the Wizarding World- before it used to be because of her War Hero/ Golden Trio status, now it was her supposed future Hermione Malfoy status. After a few hours in a muggle salon, the muggles were able to accomplish what no wizard would have ever been able to achieve: they tamed her hair. _Her_ hair. That bush of a mess that she called hair was finally straightened, sleek, and most importantly, not what it used to be. She'll be honest, she did love her hair before- it was different, it set her apart from everyone else, and it _defined_ her. But, she could only deal with having that heavy nest sat at the top of her head for so long.

It was starting to hurt her neck, really.

Contently, Hermione slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans, a form-fitting white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. It wasn't something she would usually wear, but that was sort of what she was aiming for. It might throw any curious wizards off. Putting on a pair of sunglasses and a pair of black heels, she walked out of her flat, cursing Ginny when she stumbled a bit.

Merlin she hated heels. The only reason she would ever wear such hazardous monstrosities- besides the Yule Ball- was because she needed to get used to them for Ginny and Harry's wedding. The wedding she was going to alone, now…

"Stupid git," she muttered to herself bitterly. As she went off on another rant about Ron- which, surprisingly, was her first in days- she realized something very important that she had neglected to do.

She still hadn't told Ginny and Harry.

"Mother-" she cut herself off when she noticed a pair of old women sitting on a bench nearby, possibly able to hear her as she walked passed, "will love her birthday present I got for her!" Hermione added a happy clap of her hands, acting as if she was just so excited that she was talking to herself.

It was safer than swearing in front of old women that would probably beat her with their impossibly heavy bags if they heard her.

Back to the issue- she'll need to tell Harry and Ginny soon. Or at least Harry, then he could tell Ginny. After all, Ginny had one hell of a temper and Harry was pretty much the only one that could calm her down. Hermione may have gotten to be very close friends with Ginny these last six years, but she wasn't even _close_ to that level. So, Harry was the only person who would be able to tell Ginny the news of Hermione and Ron's breakup without losing any limbs. Or, at least, without losing any _important_ limbs…

Hermione stopped in her tracks, "Where was I going, again?" She really needed to work on her habit of getting lost in thought when she had errands. She tended to do that a lot. On the bright side, at least she doesn't read while walking anymore.

She learned that lesson the hard way.

Oh yes, she was going to the muggle mall to find a wedding present! She knew that since everyone invited to the wedding was a wizard, she'd have an easier time finding something in the Muggle World. Besides, Ginny seemed to have inherited her dad's bizarre obsession with the Muggle World. Just, not quite to the point Arthur was.

Hermione continued on her walk, swerving to the direction of the mall when she realized she was headed the wrong way. Finally, she was able to see the Westfield London Shopping Centre and she picked up the speed, evading other passersby. Entering through one of the double doors, she smiled at the sight. Sure, she wasn't much of a mall person, but she couldn't deny that it was an amazing mall. Which was probably why it was always so crowded.

After looking around for awhile and finding nothing, Hermione headed to the elevators. Usually, she'd take the stairs, but she was wearing high heels. She did not have a death wish, no matter what people said about her and the rest of the Golden Trio.

The elevator, surprisingly, only had one other occupant. She didn't look at him, most of her attention focused on her aching feet. "Second floor, please," she said politely, seeing as how he stood right in front of the buttons. The man spun around quickly at her voice, confusing her, "Granger!" he yelled in disbelief.

Her head snapped at the voice. Crap, she _knew_ that voice. "Malfoy!" she cried when her brown eyes met familiar cold, grey-blue ones. As their eyes met, concurrently, they swore lowly, "Damn." The second the word slipped through their lips, the elevator came to a sudden stop, the lights flickering off.

They were stuck.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh yes, sort of cliche 'stuck in elevator' thing. I just thought it would be fun. Besides, it wouldn't be much of a Dramione if they managed to stay away from each other like they planned. Also, I'm hoping for some bonding for next chapter. And i guess it will have some, what's the word? Oh yeah, 'fluff'. There's something to look forward to for you readers. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Heart to Heart

**Author's Note: Hi, there. I realize I've been gone for quite some time, but I've been busy. School is almost over and I'm one of the idiots scrambling to get all of my work done. Not working out so well. So, here's the next chapter of Three Little Words. I hope it is up to your standards. Also, my computer has been messed up and now I can't use spellcheck. This time, I really need you people to tell me if there's something wrong. Before I forget, at the bottom Author's Note, I have some summaries and exerpts from stories I've come up with- which is why this chapter seems so long. Let me know if you'd like me write one of them soon or if you'd like to write it yourself. If anyone's wondering, 'lift' is apparently what Brits use for 'elevator'. I'll change that in the previous chapter later. I only found out recently. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, never have owned it, and I never will own it. I can only hope.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five:<strong>

**Heart to Heart**

Hermione was more than frustrated at this point. She was annoyed, angry, mad, irritated, and all other synonyms for 'I-am-stuck-in-the-lift-with-Draco-Goddamn-Malfoy'. They had only been stuck in there for a maximum of fifteen minutes, but already the stupid Ferret had panicked about being in such a small area, whined about missing lunch, complained about losing his precious time, and somehow managed to insult her in approximately twenty different ways in that short amount of time. In addition, the security had informed them over the speaker-system that it would take the better half of three hours before they'd be able to get the lift up and running again.

Merlin help her.

"Tell me again, Granger," Malfoy said, sounding exhausted. _He_ was exhausted? She rolled her eyes, going off onto another mental rant. "Why can't we just appara- Oomph!" He coughed, trying to regain his breath after she elbowed him painfully in the gut. She looked pointedly at the camera situated in the corner of the lift, fixated on them.

"That is why," she said simply.

"We could alwasy obliv- Ouch! What the hell, Granger?" Said witch merely rolled her eyes at his over-reacting. She hadn't kicked his shin that hard.

"We can't take the risk."

"It would only take a quick wave of our wa- Dammit, Granger! How the hell can such a small person pack that hell of a punch? Are you on those muggle steroids? Ack-" he cried when she smacked the back of his head. "Okay, what the hell was that last one for?"

"Don't use any magic related terms," she whispered to him heatedly, making sure to angle herself away from the camera in case they were able to read lips. She doubted that mall security would be particularly skilled in that, but why take the chance?

"I can't help it if a few words slip out, Granger." He rolled his eyes at her. "I lived my whole life in the Wiz- Mother- This is abuse, woman!"

"Then maybe you should just stop talking," she glanced quickly at the camera, hoping no one was suspicious- or getting there.

* * *

><p>Phil Connors, a slightly rounded man with more hair on his face than on his head and a badge indicating him to be the head of security, walked into the room holding a large bucket of popcorn. "What'd I miss?" he asked the other, younger security guards that gathered around a single screen.<p>

"The girl just stomped her heel onto his foot," one of them replied, not once looking away from the screen that displayed a pretty brunette girl arguing with the arrogant looking blonde man.

"This one's a fiesty one, she is," another guard commented lightly.

"You got that right," Phil agreed through his popcorn-filled mouth, sitting back in his chair to continue watching the fighting couple. He would never openly admit if asked, but Phil could honestly say that he loved when people got stuck in the lifts. They always seemed to get themselves in the strangest of circumstances- most turning highly amusing. However, there were times when some people would get... _carried away_, completely forgetting that there was in fact a camera watching their every move. It would get extremely awkward in the room as each of the men in the room would suddenly feel the need to take a few cold showers.

Phil sincerely hoped that these two were not that type of couple, or else it was going to be a long two hours.

* * *

><p>"Why are you even here, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, sharply interrupting whatever-the-hell he was going on about.<p>

"I wasn't aware I wasn't allowed here, Granger," Draco sneered.

"Well, typically, animals aren't allowed in public establishments," she stated haughtily.

"Hey," he protested, "I thought we couldn't use any magi- Gah! Honestly, Granger? Do you know how long it took me to tie this stupid tie?" Draco asked, turning the silk fabric this way and that, trying to tie it again.

"You've got to be joking?" she asked incredulously. "Here." She grabbed his tie from his hands roughly, stepping closer in order to tie it properly. Draco grinned suggestively. "If you wanted to get close to me so badly, you could've just asked. Granted, I probably would have said no, but I have always been a firm believer in good manners."

"Good manners my ass," she muttered. "Just, please stop being an idiot, okay Malfoy? You just reminded me of Ronald and his utter inability to do even the most simplest of things. I used to have to do this for him so I suppose it's instinct." She shrugged indifferently.

"Would you please stop comparing me to Weasel?" Draco begged. To be honest, he really didn't like being compared to him. Even with his past prejudice aside, the thought of being in any way similar to Weasley made him feel dirty. And that was saying something, considering he could tolerate Granger just fine.

"Oh, alright." She snorted in amusement. "Little Malfoy is getting jealous, hmm?"

"You wish, Granger," Draco retorted, snorting as well. "There's nothing Weasel has that I couldn't get with a snap of my fingers." He smirked, adding as though in after-thought, "That includes you, oh-mighty Gryffindork." Instantly, Hermione's small grin disappeared from her face, a scowl replacing it.

"I don't belong to Ron," she said, forced anger coating her words. However, because Draco had found himself listening intently to her when her facial expression had changed so abruptly, he noticed the hurt that lingered deep in her voice. "He's found something better."

Draco cringed visibly. No matter how many women he had been with, how close he was with his mother, or how confident he always was with everything else, he never could get over the awkwardness that would arise whenever he was around _crying_ women. He never knew what to say. He had his share of crying girls, and every time he would attempt to comfort them in a way he thought appropriate- it usually depended on the girl- it would always backfire on him. Strangely enough, the reactions were always pretty similar no matter the situation. Cheating boyfriend: "He doesn't deserve you." _Slap! _"I loved him!". Pregnant: "You're not even showing... _much." Slap! _"It's only been two weeks!". Lost little girl: "It's okay, I'll help you find your mum." _Slap! _"Stranger danger!".

There was _definitely_ a recurring theme there.

Yes, it sounds like a funny problem... but it's actually not. [1]

With Granger, he wasn't sure what to say to make her feel better- and avoid him getting slapped in the face. From what he remembered of her, and the fact that she was a Gryffindor, the bookworm was strong. Really, he wouldn't have pegged her as one to even cry in the first place. Draco supposed he could get her mad, as she had always been prone to letting her temper reign over her, but he had already decided to not get slapped today. If he tried sympathizing with her, her pride would probably have her riled up again, thus still resulting in some type of bodily harm. After a moment of consideration, Draco decided on something simple: humor.

"Wait, I thought you said Potter was with the Weaselette?" He faked confusion, feeling relief flood his body when she snorted lightly. That is, until she spoke up again.

"Nice try, Malfoy, but insinuating that my best friend who'll soon be married to another one of my friends secretly plays for the other team along with my ex-boyfriend _isn't_ going to make me feel any better," she said, though the slight upturn of her lips suggested otherwise.

"I already told you, Granger. You were too good for him anyway," he said softly, feeling uncomfortable in sad atmosphere.

"I loved him," she said fiercely, Draco just managing to repress the flinch at the all too familiar words, instinctively bracing himself for the stinging pain on his cheek. "But, apparently, the feeling was not mutual." Her voice had turned bitter.

"I always knew he was a Weasel," Draco said lamely, his mind coming up blank for anything helpful to say.

"He wasn't always," she muttered softly. Slowly, she leaned back against the wall of the lift, sliding her back down until she was sitting with her knees tucked into her chest, arms wrapped around them. Her eyes glazed over, seemingly lost in thought, completely forgetting where she was or who whe was talking to. Draco knew that if she remembered, she wouldn't be having this sort of... _intimate_ conversation. "I did fall in love with him for a reason, you know. We grew up together. We've been through so much... I just couldn't help it. It's like, he was always there when I needed him. I mean, I suppose I could say the same about Harry, but I could never imagine myself with him like that. Naturally, I found myself drifting towards Ron in that sense- romantically, that is. Soon, I noticed even more of his small gestures for me, intentional or not, and I felt myself fall harder for him. It was slow and gradual, but that was how I knew it was real. When we first started dating immediately after the war, it was great. Only, once he started to get more known throughout the Wizarding community... that's when our relationship started to go downhill.

"I should have seen it coming, really. I just didn't want to let go of what we used to have. It hurts, though, knowing that Ron didn't mind at all forgetting everything that we'd been through." Her voice broke, "My rants on him breaking up with me through a letter weren't only a pretense- they weren't only to cover up my true feelings. But, I wasn't really mad that it was through a letter. It was what saying it through a letter meant. I feel like the letter was truly saying that... Ron didn't care about me. Not really. He didn't care enough about me- about _us-_ to tell me his feelings to my face. He didn't _care_ enough to give me a real reason for a break up. All he gave me was a hastily written letter about some bullshit duty to his obsessed fans. He just didn't care. And I loved him. So, _so_ much." As Hermione finally let the first tear drop, she whimpered, "And I still do."

Deciding to try his luck, Draco slid down on the wall across from her, looking straight at her until she raised her eyes to look at him. "That only makes sense," he said slowly. "It _has_ only been a few days. The fact that you you care for him couldn't have changed so quickly, no matter the circumstances," Draco added, hoping to Merlin that it had been the right thing to say.

"I'm so pathetic." Merlin's balls, what was wrong with what he said this time? She looks like she's going to cry even more! "And it's all his fault." Oh, Draco thought relieved, he was in the clear for now. She seemed to be blaming Weasel now. "He drove me to confessing my true feeling to you, of all people!" OKay, now he wasn't so sure if she was trying to put the blame back on him or not. Granger was one confusing woman, that was for sure.

Draco wisely chose not to say anything, hoping she would just continue on until they were let out of the goddamn lift.

"Though, I suppose you're not as bad as I thought," she said finally, shocking Draco. "I mean, you listened to me rant and cry this whole time and didn't even insult me."

"I have my moments," he said simply, still watching her warily.

They sat in a comfortable silence then, lost in their own thoughts. Their eyes drifted towards each other, brown clashing with grey, and they nodded to each other simultaneously. Coming to a truce, they went back to their thoughts. Hermione wiped her face of her tears, her heart feeling lighter than ever, finally having gotten everything off her chest. She wasn't over Ron yet, which was to be expected, but she knew now that it would be easier for her to do so. Draco looked back at the broken woman, made up his mind and stood. Hermione watched him curiously as he walked over and sat beside her hesitantly. They were both silent, and felt exactly the same about the close proximity.

_Off._

They didn't move, however. Hermione didn't mind the wrongness of being so close physically to Draco Malfoy because, him being him, the strangeness of it kept her mind off of Ron. Draco was just too glad that he had managed to evade any serious injuries and figured comforting Granger was the best thing he could do for her before she changed her mind. Hermione sighed, lying her head on Draco's shoulder, barely even aware of her own action. Draco almost jumped in surprise but managed to keep it in. He allowed her this extra little gesture of comfort, knowing she probably needed a shoulder to lean on right about now.

* * *

><p>"Do you think we should tell them that the lift is already fixed?" One of the guards inquired, watching the scene thoughtfully.<p>

As it was, the lift had been easier to fix than originally thought, and had only taken about thirty minutes. To get the lift moving again, the people inside it had to press the button of the desired floor, and they'd be on their way.

"No," Phil replied, amused. "Let's just give them a moment. After all, we did promise them four hours. It's only been an hour."

* * *

><p>"How much longer will it take to fix this damn contraption, do you suppose?" Draco asked, his voice taking on a whining quality.<p>

"I haven't a clue, to be honest," Hermione responded, sounding almost ashamed to not know the answer to something. She shifted her head, resting it against the lift wall, adjusting herself so that her shoulder rested against Malfoy's own. She still felt incredibly awkward this close to Malfoy, but he was much more comfortable than the floor, and she was getting tired. Letting her emotions burst from her so suddenly had drained a lot out of her, quite frankly.

"I suddenly regret coming here."

"That reminds me, you never answered my question. Why are you even here?" she asked curiously.

"I had a meeting near here," he answered. "I had the time wrong and arrived too early. I thought I'd kill some time here."

"Well, this sure _is_ time consuming," Hermione stated dryly.

"With as much fun we're having, the time is just speeding by," Draco drawled, voice matching hers.

"Okay, can I be serious for a second?" she asked, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes.

"Hermione Granger? _Serious_ for once? I _never_ would have imagined!" He gaped in fake-shock.

"Malfoy! We've only been here for an hour! Stuck in a cramped space like this- and with you, no less- it's going to drive me insane if we have to wait here doing nothing for three more hours. And, don't you protest, you know it's the same for you." By now, both had completely forgotten about the cameras. Thankfully, the crowd of security guards had already left the screen focused on them, going about their usual chores before they were caught neglecting their duties for so long.

"Well what do you propose we do?"

"I don't know, something to keep us busy."

"I'm not having a quick romp in the lift, Granger."

"Ew, Malfoy. Just, no. Get your head out of the gutter."

"What? My head isn't in any gutter-"

"Nevermind, forget I said that. Look, I just think it'd be a good idea to distract ourselves so that the time we spend in here doesn't seem so long."

"We could have another therapy session. But, this time, I get to be the one talking about my feelings. I have some serious skeletons in my closet that I'd like to clean out."

"How do you even know that phrase?"

"I heard it on a song playing in one of the stores when I walked in."

"Well, if you're set on that therapy session, I'd be okay with it. I have nothing better to do, after all."

"Okay, it started when I was twelve and I found out my real dad was a house-elf-" [2]

"That never happened!"

"Hey, this is my story, Granger! You had your turn."

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later.<strong>

"Like I'd believe you went into the past and learned from Merlin himself," Hermione said through her giggles. She never would have thought that she'd be sitting here, having a civil conversation with Draco Malfoy, and actually listening to him and laughing with him.

Unfathomable.

"I think I would know best, Granger. It's my life we're talking about, after all," Draco said lightly, smirking as per usual. "I even bested him in a duel."

"Okay, now I know for sure that this is a load of hippogriff dung," Hermione smiled widely as she spoke this.

"You doubt my skills?" Draco asked, mocking hurt. "I'll have you know, I am very talented with a wand. And not just the wooden one." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Why are you always such a pervert?"

"I was a teenage boy once, remember? We're all like that."

"Not necessarily-"

**"Excuse me," **a male voice through the speaker-system interrupted. **"The lift has been successfully repaired. All you need to do is press the button for your desired floor. Sorry for the inconvenience."**

"Finally, I-" Hermione cut off suddenly, Draco pressing the two button, her eyes widening in realization. As the doors slid apart, she grabbed Draco's arm hastily.

"What?" Draco asked worriedly.

"They caught our whole conversation," she whispered, her face betraying how scared she was.

"So? They didn't say anything, obviously they missed it."

"No, that doesn't matter. They can still watch it. That's how a camera works," she explained, struggling to keep from yelling.

"You mean they can..." Draco felt his own eyes widen as he got what she was trying to say. She nodded nervously.

"You've got to be shitting me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh yes, the lift problem has not yet been resolved. Draco and Hermione still have plenty to do before they can leave the mall. And, hopefully, they haven't just exposed the wizarding world. Don't worry about Phil Connors, he was just there because I thought it'd be interesting to see Draco and Hermione's relationship from someone else's point of view. Anyway, if anyone was wondering what the [insert number here] things were, I'll tell you now. <strong>

**[1] if anyone can tell me where this quote is from and who says it, I will write them a Harry Potter one-shot with any heterosexual pairing of their choice. **

**[2] if anyone knows what I'm alluding to in this, you'll get the same thing as [1], but it can be any pairing at all. Slash, femslash, crossover, whatever. Or, if you'd rather I started posting one of the story ideas that will be shown below, I will. **

**Here are the ideas:**

**Plimpy Soup **_(Harry Potter- DH)-_ **SSLL friendship:** After Severus is attacked by Nagini, he readily accepts his inevitable death. But maybe it wasn't as inevitable as he thought. Luna finds him in this state and heals him. Things will never be the same.

"Plimpy...soup?" Severus asked cautiously, coughing at the horrid taste in his mouth as he felt all of his wounds heal and meand themselves.

"Yes," Luna responded airily. "The Gulping Plimpies are especially helpful this time of year. It makes the soup's properties even more potent."

"Is it...?"

"Exactly. There's a reason why the recipe is so sought after, Professor Snape."

**Girl in the Mirror **_(Harry Potter- Post DH)- _**Pairing Undecided: **The Final Battle has ended, and the Golden Trio has just begun their official Seventh Year. But when Hermione finds herself in the Room of Requirement, she catches a glimpse of the Mirror of Erised. Curious, she decides to see wait her heart truly desires. It just all goes downhill from there for the "brightest witch of her generation". **I haven't decided yet if I want it to be a crossover with Supernatural or a TR/HG fic.**

Hermione stepped in front of the mirror only to meet the sight of her glaring daggers in frustration. She jumped suddenly, when her reflection began to smile slowly at her and gave a small wave.

It wasn't that the smile was intimidating or anything like that- nor was the wave particularly threatening in any way at all- but Hermione couldn't help but be a little frightened. Of course, who wouldn't be scared when their reflection smiled and waved at them while they had done no such action?

"What the hell..." Hermione muttered disbelievingly.

Her reflection only shook her head light-heartedly, raising an eyebrow as if to say, _'you're a witch, aren't you? You've seen much stranger things'_. Laughing at the annoyed look on Hermione's face, her reflection pointed at the surface of the mirror beside her.

Hermione ran her fingers over the words inscribed where her reflection showed her, _Hta peht emwo hse saelp_, when she felt a pull in her stomach. A pull similar to a portkey.

Shocked, she jumped back from the mirror as quickly as she could. But it was already too late.

She didn't even manage a scream when she suddenly disappeared, leaving the Room of Requirement to slowly rearrange itself, no evidence of her presence left.

**This Isn't So Hard! **_(Harry Potter)- _**Pairing Undecided: **Parody. The cliche "Girl from our world finds herself in the Harry Potter universe". But this girl, bored as hell, decides to see why Harry is always so angry about his destiny. Destroying inanimate objects, helping a well-known convict, killing a man that lost to an infant... How hard could it possibly be?

"Here you go. Happy Birthday," I said sarcastically, handing him the vials of the Mandrake potion-thingy.

"Thank you. But, may I ask, what are these for?" Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes twinkling curiously.

I honestly don't see why people don't like him. He is awesome! So what if he's gay? So what if he can be manipulative? That's no reason to bash him left and right! He's only human!

"What do you think?" I say aloud, "I'm going to go slay a basilisk. Duh. Now, where's the Sword of Gryffindor? I'm gonna need that."

"What! What basilisk?"

"No time for that. I really need that sword. Or a chicken. Or was it a rooster? No, that's less epic. Yeah, I want the sword. So, can I just get it from the Hat or something?" I said hurriedly, just wanting to get the hard(est) part out of the way.

"But you're not a Gryffin-"

"I'll deal with that myself. So, shall I?"

**Be Careful What You Pay For **_(Inuyasha/Transformers Crossover)- _**Pairing Undecided: **Kagome, tired of all the fighting and ready to live a normal life for once, moves to America for a new beginning. But when she buys an old pair of glasses from one of her new classmates, she's pulled into a new adventure that may just push her over the edge. Or was this just what she needed?

"So... What they get you for?" the pretty blonde girl asked in a heavy Australian accent.

"I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot," Sam said, trying to sound casual, but even Kagome could tell that he was holding back anger.

"And I bought a pair of glasses. You know, from him," Kagome gestured to Sam with a jerk of her head. "Turned out to have some kind of map to an all powerful alien box."

Sam and Kagome shrugged unintentionally in unison and said, "Who knew?"

**Freezing **_(Harry Potter/Inuyasha Crossover)_- **No Pairing: **Prequel to my one-shot, Frozen. The events that led to Kagome's death.

"You're in hiding as well?" Hermione asked the strange foreign girl, not sure what to make of the turn of events.

"You too? You know, before I got caught up in all of this crap, I might've said, 'What a coincidence!'. But I've learned that nothing is ever truly a coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. But, yes, I am in hiding. What are you three hiding from?"

"An evil snake-man intent on world domination who's after Harry because he has the power to defeat him. Hermione and I are really only tagging along," Ron answered, not yet recovered from the shock of everything that had happened in the last ten minutes.

"And what are you hiding from, again?" Harry asked, having missed her explanation from earlier. Kagome looked him in the eyes, replying solemnly, "Demons."

**Nightlight **_(Twilight)_- When Bella wakes up on the plane to Forks after having a strange dream, she doesn't know what to make of it. Vampires, werewolves... They're only stories, right? Myths? But, as everything she dreamt comes to life before her eyes, will she accept her coming 'happily ever after', or...will she change it?

Exactly as in my dream, they were pale and inhumanely beautiful. Their features were so utterly perfect, so sharp and alluring. Their eyes ranged from a dark amber to completely black. They spoke quietly to each other, as if the rest of the room didn't exist. They didn't eat, rather choosing to pick at their food almost experimentally with their long fingers.

There were two blondes, two brunettes, and one with messy bronze-colored hair. They looked completely different, yet so alike at the same time. With their dangerous beauty and intoxicating ways, they drew in everyone- yet, the way they stared down at others, they also repelled them.

Walking contradictions- that's what they were. So dark, dangerous, alone. Then so bright, inviting, _together._ I knew what my subconscious was telling me. _'I know what you are,' _it screamed.

But they couldn't be. It just wasn't possible. They just _couldn't_ be. Before I could even _think_ of stopping myself, a truly careless word wormed its way passed my gaping lips:

"Vampires..."

**Deathly Reality **_(Harry Potter)_- Voldemort triumphs over the Light side, wins the war, and has collected all three of the Deathly Hallows. Discovering the true power of the hallows, he traps the Golden Trio in a world of his own creation. The Deathly Hallows didn't exist, there was never a war to begin with, and... Tom Riddle is good? Voldemort plays with his new toys in his elaborate game of chess, twisting the world they knew as they lose themselves in his world of dreams. Only... what happens when one wakes up? **Warning: May be dark. And possibly rated M.**

"Why?" Hermione asked, desperately trying to push away the thoughts of Tom. She didn't want to think of Tom- holding her hand, playing in her hair, wrapping his arms around her gently- and associate him with this spiteful man that had caused so much pain to everyone she loved.

"Why, what, my filthy little Mudblood?" he asked softly in her ear, though continued to grip her shoulder harshly.

"Why?" she repeated. "Why couldn't you have just killed us? Why did you have to play with us? Why did you let me- you let me touch you! You..." She broke out in sobs, her throat constricting as she gasped loudly for breath.

"But that's just it, _Mya._" He leaned closer. Hermione had to fight off the urge to vomit at his use of Tom's endearment for her. "My victory was inevitable- why not prolong it by messing with the heads of the Light's only hope? I decided, why kill you, when I could _destroy_ you?"

"I-I don't understand."

"Why don't I put it this way? Killing you would have been a bit too easy, don't you think? So, I decided to first destroy you so badly mentally, that you'd be _begging_ for death."

"That doesn't explain why you did everything you did!" Hermione protested. "Everything you did to me!"

"Doesn't it, though?" Voldemort smirked at her mockingly. "What better way to destroy you, than to treat you better than a queen? Think about it. How do you feel, Mya?" He caressed her cheek lovingly. "How do you feel, knowing that I touched you like this? To know that you let me, the monster that brought so much pain and suffering to so many innocents, make you feel better than you ever have? To know that these same hands that were used to kill thousands, were also used to bring you more happiness than you would have thought possible? And, how do you feel, knowing that even now, knowing who I really am, your feelings haven't changed at all?"

Hermione took in a shuddering breath, knowing he was right. She didn't want it to be true, but that didn't change the fact that it was.

"How does it feel," he continued when she didn't answer, his voice barely above that of a whisper, "to be in love with your worst enemy?"

**That's all. Personally, my favorite is Deathly Reality. I'm just not sure where to go with that one yet. I mean, I have a basic idea, but I'm just not sure how to put it into words. Sorry that there's no Dramione ideas at the moment. So, remember to tell me if there are any mistakes, and I'll see what I can do. And don't forget to answer the answers if you'd like a one-shot dedicated to you! **


	6. Chapter 6: BarfInducing

**Author's Note: Yay, new chapter. A bit disturbing near the end, but I was running out of things to write and it took up quite a bit of space so... Whatever. Sorry for any mistakes, I still can't figure out how to use spellcheck with my messed up computer. It's really making me angry, to tell the truth. **

**Disclaimer: Do Not Own.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six:<strong>

**Barf-Inducing**

"What's the plan, Granger?" Draco asked Hermione as they sat across from each other at a small table in the food court. Draco had a tray of... _something_ in front of him, while Hermione had a simple hamburger. Draco picked at his food- stealing bits of Hermione's, seeing as he wasn't sure he wanted to eat whatever the hell was on his plate- while Hermione completely ignored hers. Loud conversation went on around them, but they were too caught up in their own situation to notice.

"I'm working on it," Hermione responded off-handedly, deep in thought.

"Well, work on it faster. You said yourself that they can look at the video whenever they want, so we need to make sure we get to it before they do."

"Don't you think I know that? If you think it's so simple, why don't you come up with something?" she snapped, her brain in jumbles from all of the stress.

"I shouldn't have to. That is why you're here, after all," he said easily. Hermione refrained from punching him. Again.

"You are so lucky we are in public, Draco Abraxas Malfoy. Otherwise, I would have already beaten you to near-death from that comment alone," Hermione threatened, her voice trembling from barely suppressed rage.

"How do you know my full name?" Draco asked curiously, oblivious to the growing danger.

Being on the recieving end of her wrath so often, you'd think he'd grow to learn how to detect it.

Obviously not.

"For every question of yours I'm obligated to answer, you are obligated to lose one important body part. I think you know which one is first," Hermione hissed. Draco gulped upon realizing she meant every word of it. "Would you still like an answer?"

"So this plan," Draco said nervously, attempting to change the subject.

"...I'm working on it."

"You don't have a plan, do you?"

"Nope, not at all."

"Wonderful."

"Well," Hermione began, "I suppose I do have a plan... It's just... Er- well, it's very much illegal, to tell you the truth."

"Does it involve," Draco paused dramatically, "murder?" Hermione gave him an odd look, shaking her head vehemently. "Then I don't see what's the problem."

"Malfoy, murder isn't the only crime that's generally frowned upon by society," Hermione said, her voice monotone.

"Then what exactly does this plan of yours involve?"

"Well..."

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><p>"I can't believe you talked me into this!" Hermione cried softly, repeatedly looking down the hall for anyone that might pass- it wouldn't do to get caught breaking and entering into mall security.<p>

"_I_ talked _you?"_ Draco asked incredulously, looking through the tapes. "This was _your_ plan!"

"But I was never actually going to go through with it! You were the one saying, 'Let's just go, know-it-all! We have to destroy the evidence!'" Hermione said, doing a surprisingly good impression of him.

He wasn't sure if he should be insulted or flattered.

"It doesn't matter now anyway, does it? Now, come over here and help me. If we're both looking for this stupid tape, it'll go by faster."

"Oh, drop the attitude, Malfoy. You're acting like Garfield on a Monday."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, are you going to help me?"

"Fine," Hermione sighed, reluctantly leaving her spot by the door to move next to Malfoy. They fast forwarded through what should have been hours of footage, in only about two minutes. They had to hurry this up before the security guard, who was strangely _still_ in the bathroom, came back and found them.

It took a total of twenty tapes, and ten minutes- again, where the heck is that guy? It's not that Hermione wanted him to come and find them here, but fifteen minutes in the bathroom? Did she want to know?- until the tape with them finally reared it's hideously sappy head. Hermione felt completely mortified seeing how she had practically clung to Malfoy like a life-line.

This time, she actually did barf a little.

Disgusting. She had probably never seen something so barf-inducing before in her twenty-four years of life.

"Okay, so how are we going to get rid of this?" Malfoy interrupted her thoughts, sounded about as grossed out as she was. Perhaps more.

"Well this, my dear Ferret, is the easy part. _Electro,"_ Hermione muttered, laying her hand where the tape should be. They watched as the video became blurry, before completely erasing. "It worked!"

"You mean you didn't know if it would work?" Draco asked, looking up at her triumphant face incredulously. "What the hell was that, anyway?"

"It was a spell I found that creates a strong magnetic force for a few minutes, depending on how much power is put into it. I read once that electromagnetic energy can erase contents on some removeable media, and I wanted to try it out. And it worked! Of course, I only managed to erase just enough to not seem too suspicous, but it's still quite the accomplishment." Hermione squealed at yet another success on her part.

"You mean this was just an experiment? What would happen if it didn't work?"

"Then we would have been completely screwed. But I was confident that it would work, and it did, so no harm done."

"You, Hermione Something Granger, are a bloody lunatic."

"Jean."

"What?"

"Hermione _Jean_ Granger."

"Oh... Usually I'd return the favor, but you already know my full name...?"

"Missing body part."

"Letting it go."

They stood in an awkward silence, then. Until the sounds of moans reached their ears. They both turned simultaneously to see that the video had began replaying from the beginning.

"Are they...?" Hermione asked tentively.

"Yes, Granger, I think they are," Draco replied, looking sick.

Hermione could taste the bile in her mouth, but fought it back. She took back what she said earlier. This was **the** most disgusting thing she had ever seen. Seeing the expression Hermione sported, Draco couldn't have agreed more. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, Draco was still a man, and he could get... turned on, but not when he was seeing two men going at it like rabbits. He wasn't sick because he was some homophobe, he couldn't really care less if someone wasn't playing the same team as him, he just didn't want to see it in the act!

Scarred. For. Life.

"Oh God, I sat against that wall!" Hermione cried.

"Do they have no shame?" Draco exclaimed completely repulsed.

"Yeah, people do tend to get carried away in there," came an unfamiliar voice, causing Hermione and Draco to whirl around in shock. There stood an unknown man, with a balding head and round stomach, looking cockily at the surprised duo. But what really caught their attention was the shiny, security guard badge.

Oh, bugger.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah... Sorry if you're scarred for life too. Tell me what you think, anyway. You can even flame. I wouldn't blame you. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, though! By the way, you guys can still take a look at those ideas from the last chapter. So far, I've got a couple of people asking for Deathly Reality. Also, I've got a couple of new stories up for those of you who don't know. One is a Dramione, the other is a LunaMultiple. Check it out. **


	7. Chapter 7: The Prison Blues

**Author's Note: You know, the funny thing is... this chapter has been done for seven months now. I actually have no idea why it wasn't up... I think I've been wanting to add something else to chapter, but after a friggin year, I can't remember what it was. So, after an unexpected yearlong hiatus, this story is back! I hope I still have _some_ readers...**

**Disclaimer: Even after a year, I have failed to somehow get anything Harry Potter related in my possession...**

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven:<strong>

**The Prison Blues**

"If you start singing prison blues songs, I swear I will throw you against that wall," Hermione grumbled, slumped against the bars of their 'cell'. It was kind of hard to take it too seriously considering they were in 'mall jail'.

"Kinky," Draco said suggestively, his grin wolfish. "I like it."

"I don't know what you're so happy about," Hermione said, giving him a sharp glare. "Didn't you have a meeting you were supposed to attend?"

"See, now, if I was someone else, that reminder would probably damper my spirits. The thing is, Granger... I hate those meetings. I hate them so much. You know what I mean?" Draco smirked seeing the 'I-want-to-strangle-you' look on her face. "All we do is sit and talk about a whole bunch of things that don't matter. Nothing ever really gets done in these types of meetings. They're bloody boring."

"And getting caught by a mallcop because we were foolish enough to break into the security room and thrown into mall jail is your definition of fun?" Hermione asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Of course not. But, unlike in those meetings, I have a source of entertainment here," he commented, eyeing her pointedly.

"Glad to know you depend on me so much," she teased. "But, honestly, I don't understand how you can be so **damn** _happy."_

"Well, after getting all of my deep, dark secrets off my chest, I feel like a weight has been lifted."

"Ha ha. You should really think about becoming a comedian."

"I would, but my company is too important," Draco said seriously, though his lips threatened to curve upwards.

"I'm sure," she drawled in another one of her suspiciously accurate imitations of him.

"Do you spend your free time imitating the way I talk or something? I swear, the accuracy in which you mock me is disconcerting, to be honest."

"Nice, Malfoy. I hadn't realized your vocabulary was so extensive."

"Jealous? But, seriously Granger, do you practice being a Malfoy frequently? I mean, I'm flattered, but you're really going to have to give up on this fantasy of yours—"

"Oh, Merlin, kill me now," Hermione groaned, burying her head in her arms. She just couldn't understand how Malfoy could be so calm about all this. Come to think of it, he was like this the whole time—ever since they stepped out of the lift, really. She had spent all that time brooding and stressed while he sat there being a prat—and eating her food! At that thought, her stomach growled lowly. Thankfully, Malfoy was still going on about the "requirements for being the Lady of the Prestigious and Noble House of Malfoy", or something to that effect, so he didn't hear the starved cry of her stomach.

She wondered where that security guard had gone to this time. After he had brought them here, he merely locked the door and left without another word. She wasn't sure if she should be thankful or not. On one hand, if they slipped and said anything more about magic, no one would be there to hear it. She knew there were cameras in here too, but it didn't come with sound. She found that out herself when they were poking around for the lift tape. But, on the other hand, she was now alone with Malfoy. Again.

She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve such a long string of bad luck in such a short amount of time. She must have been a serial killer, or maybe even a tyrannical dictator in a past life. There was no other explanation for why she was now on the receiving end of this seemingly endless torture.

"Kill me," Hermione pleaded once again, looking at the sky in earnest, as if to make sure the Gods could hear her. Malfoy snickered at her, unphased by the hard glare shot at him.

"You know, I just noticed something," Draco said, his grin fading to make way for his signature smirk.

"Enlighten me," she responded dully.

"Well, ever since we've come back into contact with each other, it's like our personalities have switched! I mean, back in school, I was the temperamental brooder—don't snort Granger, at least I can admit it—while you were... Well, I'm not quite sure if you used to act as I do now, as I didn't know you well enough, but you certainly didn't sulk so much," he paused. "Yes, we've definitely been subject to some kind of brainwash."

Hermione snorted sardonically, rolling her eyes. "Don't be any more idiotic than I already thought you were, Malfoy. It's unbecoming."

"Oh, yeah?" he shot back, a perfect eyebrow raised, as if to challenge her. "Then, if I'm wrong, may your muggle God strike me down now."

"What?" she gaped at him incredulously.

"May He strike me down **right now**," he repeated slowly, holding his arms out at his side, waiting for said strike to come. After about a minute of nothing, he dropped his arms, crossing them over his chest, smirking victoriously at her.

"You knew as well as I did that obviously wasn't going to work!" she accused, pointing at his smug expression. She glared even more intensely at him, muttering to herself, "Cocky bastard."

"Couldn't agree more," stated a voice from behind her—the same one that had put Malfoy and herself into the cell they were in. Hermione jumped at his sudden appearance, turning her head slowly over her shoulder, watching him smirk in an eerily similar fashion that she just couldn't put her finger on...

"How do you keep doing that?" Hermione asked, a hand over her heart in an attempt to slow its erratic pace. "Keep sneaking up on us?"

The bald man looked on in amusement as the blonde laughed outright at the girl, causing her to lash her foot out at him, before he answered in a deadpan, "Magic," looking at them pointedly. He noticed how they both stiffened, a nervous glance passing between them. The girl opened her mouth, as if to speak, only to close it again, words escaping her. The blonde was not much better, clearly arguing with himself, trying to find an excuse for their careless chatter.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione said, trying to sound confident, despite the fact that her heart was hammering in her chest.

"Don't try that," the man retorted with a roll of his eyes, "I heard the whole conversation of yours. You're just lucky that I was the only one there to see. Now, why don't you tell me what that was really about before I get you the both of you sent to a comfy little padded cell in the nearest funny farm."

"Funny farm...?" Malfoy trailed off, his eyes narrowed as he tried to understand the reference.

"He means an insane asylum!" she hissed at him, bopping him on the head. She turned back to the man, racking her brain for something to say. "It's... an inside joke! Yes, we went to the same school and came up with it during our first year there."

"So you like to pretend that you both are witches and wizards?" he asked, looking at Malfoy to add, "And half elf, in your case?"

"House-elf," Hermione corrected out of habit.

"And that is why you both decided to break into the security room and erase the video?" he asked, an amused glint in his eyes. "Or where you just trying to score some free porn? Considering the video I caught you watching, I find your motives questionable."

Hermione's face turned a deep, nearly burgundy, red. She really didn't want to be reminded of that video. And to be accused of actually wanting to watch it? She shuddered. Then sputtered. So much so that she couldn't get a coherent thought out to deny the man's statement. She was completely speechless for the second time in one day.

Perhaps a first for the Gryffindor Princess.

"Fine, we'll tell you the truth," Malfoy said when it became apparent that Hermione wasn't going to say anything. She whipped her head around so face that there was an audible crack, but Malfoy only shook his head at her. "Relax," he whispered. "We'll just obliviate him afterwards." Hermione nodded, realizing there really was no better option.

They probably wouldn't be able to get out otherwise.

"Everything—about the magic, anyway—was real. It was all true," he paused. "Except the elf thing. I hope."

"So you expect me to believe, that you're supernatural creatures—"

"I'm a witch, he's a wizard."

"—went to a magical school in Sweden—"

"Scotland."

"—called Pigfarts—"

"Hogwarts."

"—learned to use magic by waving a few sticks in the air—"

"Wands."

"—while saying the magic words."

_"Spells," _Hermione corrected for what she hoped was the last time. She stared up at the man pleadingly, willing him to believe them. She really wanted out of the cell.

The man stared at them intensely, looking as if he were going to call that 'funny farm' he had mentioned earlier. His hand strayed to where his walkie-talkie was, only only for her to widen her eyes incredulously when he merely fished out a set of keys and unlocked their cell.

"Really?" Draco couldn't help but ask. "You're letting us go? Just like that?"

"You wanna be back in there?" the man asked curiously.

"No!" both Hermione and Draco answered at the same time, shaking their heads vehemently.

"Then, yes. I'm letting you go. Just like that."

"But why?" Draco insisted, causing Hermione to mentally smack herself. The saying, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" was something she needed to instill into the idiot's head.

The man smirked at them again—why was it so damn familiar?!—before replying, "Well I can't have both Hermione Granger, War Heroine, and Draco Malfoy, Head of Malfoy House, locked in malljail for too long could I? The Ministry would have my head!"

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><p><strong>AN: Feel free to bitch about how long this took in a review XD<strong>


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